Two days ago, we received a situation that came in through our Texas agency but came from Iowa of all places. Baby girl was born in June. Situation didn't have a lot of information so we were concerned a little bit, but we wanted to present. Only problem was we had already presented to another situation for a baby due in December. Our consultant ended up telling us that the other was not sure about their plans so we should go ahead a present. So we did.
Yesterday, we heard nothing after we presented. Today, Barry even called me and asked if we had heard anything. I could tell he was excited and freaked out about this one. Later on, I got an email from our agency and she said that they had narrowed it down to two families and we were one of them! Then within ten minutes, I got another email answering questions I had. I was talking to my dad as I was reading the email. When I got to the end of the email, I saw this message, PLEASE CALL ME. SHE CHOSE YOU!
So that was at four and the rest of the day was running around like a crazy person. I don't know how to react. I am in shock. We thought we were going to drive to Iowa, but we were both going to be too tired. So tomorrow morning (I guess today), we will be flying to Iowa to hopefully see and bring home our daughter. The birth parents have 96 hours to change their mind so that is always scary. Then on to how do I care for a baby? May need to buy some books, lol.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Double Digits...
Well, we went over double digits presenting. It is nice to know we have presented so many times, but sad when you realize that those were 11 babies that weren't meant to be ours. 4 of those were babies that were already born and that was even harder.
I realized the other day that talking about a situation we are presenting to made the no that much harder. So I decided to try not telling anyone that we were presenting. We presented over the weekend and no one knew, not even family or close friends. It was just us. I thought maybe it would help if no one knew about it. As if maybe not having well meaning friends and family ask if we had heard would make it feel better. I am here to say, it didn't make a difference. I guess I was glad when I didn't have to explain to people when we got a no again, but I also didn't have the love that we get each time. This situation would have been perfect. Baby was coming in the next couple weeks. I do know that our baby will be perfect for us, but we can't help but feel like each baby we read about is the perfect one for us. I loved thinking of how we would tell friends and family. But she was so young and we are older. I don't know if that played in to it, but it is hard not to wonder.
So, here I sit again, trying to stay positive and know that our baby is out there somewhere. But it gets harder and harder to stay that way. Babies are coming all around us. Just not to us. It gets harder and harder to talk about. I want to be excited each time we present to a new expectant mom, but I can't help but think that she will probably just say no and pick someone else. I really wish we knew why we aren't getting chosen. Maybe there is something we could have said differently or showed more of in our profile.
I am super frustrated, but I am glad we are seeing more. This week the situations have slowed down again. Only one, but it had the possibility of being so far over our budget and there was no way to know for sure. They said it could be between x and y. X was doable, y was not. So, where do we go from here, I am not sure. I guess we just continue to wait. And hope. And pray. And cry. And put on a smile even when I feel like we are forgotten. :)
I realized the other day that talking about a situation we are presenting to made the no that much harder. So I decided to try not telling anyone that we were presenting. We presented over the weekend and no one knew, not even family or close friends. It was just us. I thought maybe it would help if no one knew about it. As if maybe not having well meaning friends and family ask if we had heard would make it feel better. I am here to say, it didn't make a difference. I guess I was glad when I didn't have to explain to people when we got a no again, but I also didn't have the love that we get each time. This situation would have been perfect. Baby was coming in the next couple weeks. I do know that our baby will be perfect for us, but we can't help but feel like each baby we read about is the perfect one for us. I loved thinking of how we would tell friends and family. But she was so young and we are older. I don't know if that played in to it, but it is hard not to wonder.
So, here I sit again, trying to stay positive and know that our baby is out there somewhere. But it gets harder and harder to stay that way. Babies are coming all around us. Just not to us. It gets harder and harder to talk about. I want to be excited each time we present to a new expectant mom, but I can't help but think that she will probably just say no and pick someone else. I really wish we knew why we aren't getting chosen. Maybe there is something we could have said differently or showed more of in our profile.
I am super frustrated, but I am glad we are seeing more. This week the situations have slowed down again. Only one, but it had the possibility of being so far over our budget and there was no way to know for sure. They said it could be between x and y. X was doable, y was not. So, where do we go from here, I am not sure. I guess we just continue to wait. And hope. And pray. And cry. And put on a smile even when I feel like we are forgotten. :)
Friday, August 28, 2015
What a Change...
Finally, we are starting to see a good amount of situations. Since our double no on Monday, we have seen 4 situations. One I mentioned in the previous post, but the other two were just not a good fit.
The one we saw yesterday felt really good. Are there issues, yes, but they are something that we can handle. And she wants an older couple with no kids. It is funny how going through this process you learn what you and your spouse will say yes to. I was at work mopping the floor when I got the email for this situation. I tried not to read it since I was supposed to be working, but then I couldn't wait anymore, I had to see it. I quickly read the first page and didn't even need to see the rest, I knew I was in, and I knew Barry would go for it as well. He was in a meeting so I had to wait to talk to him. It was painful to wait when I just wanted to tell the agency yes, I wanted to present. And then when he finally called back and I told him to read his email, he told me he would read it and call me back. More waiting. I should be a pro by now!
Finally he called back and gave me the answer I had expected all along. Let's go for it. I immediately emailed the agency and told them we were in. Now if we can only get an email back about when they are presenting. And so we wait some more.
It is pretty amazing the change I have seen in our mindset regarding this adoption. We started out on this journey, we were open to only a small list of things: closed or semi open adoption, Caucasian or maybe Hispanic, no drugs, known consenting birth father, and under 25,000 budget. Wow, have things changed. Now we are open to having an open adoption (the others are okay too), almost all races, some drugs are okay (of course we don't love it but we can handle it), waiting 30 days for a birth father's rights to be terminated if he doesn't want to sign, and trusting in God for the money if the budget is higher.
So this is where we are now....waiting on the right momma to choose us to raise her baby. Of course we hope it is this one we are presenting to next week. But if not, we will move on to the next one and fall 100% for the next child we hope to bring into our heart. Please keep praying for us as we wait and attempt to be patient.
The one we saw yesterday felt really good. Are there issues, yes, but they are something that we can handle. And she wants an older couple with no kids. It is funny how going through this process you learn what you and your spouse will say yes to. I was at work mopping the floor when I got the email for this situation. I tried not to read it since I was supposed to be working, but then I couldn't wait anymore, I had to see it. I quickly read the first page and didn't even need to see the rest, I knew I was in, and I knew Barry would go for it as well. He was in a meeting so I had to wait to talk to him. It was painful to wait when I just wanted to tell the agency yes, I wanted to present. And then when he finally called back and I told him to read his email, he told me he would read it and call me back. More waiting. I should be a pro by now!
Finally he called back and gave me the answer I had expected all along. Let's go for it. I immediately emailed the agency and told them we were in. Now if we can only get an email back about when they are presenting. And so we wait some more.
It is pretty amazing the change I have seen in our mindset regarding this adoption. We started out on this journey, we were open to only a small list of things: closed or semi open adoption, Caucasian or maybe Hispanic, no drugs, known consenting birth father, and under 25,000 budget. Wow, have things changed. Now we are open to having an open adoption (the others are okay too), almost all races, some drugs are okay (of course we don't love it but we can handle it), waiting 30 days for a birth father's rights to be terminated if he doesn't want to sign, and trusting in God for the money if the budget is higher.
So this is where we are now....waiting on the right momma to choose us to raise her baby. Of course we hope it is this one we are presenting to next week. But if not, we will move on to the next one and fall 100% for the next child we hope to bring into our heart. Please keep praying for us as we wait and attempt to be patient.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Comfort Levels
We haven't had to deal much with our comfort levels in this process, but they were something we had to deal with last night. I guess we have had to deal with them where drugs have been concerned and once with a cleft palate, but this was the hardest one so far.
It was a good one; low cost, low openness, baby born sooner rather than later, but then I saw it, Hep c. Everything else outweighed it and we thought we were good to go. Barry was fine with it, even though I was kind of surprised. We have seen friends be matched with moms just like this one and it is low risk of transmitting from mom to baby. I got excited to present so quickly after our terrible two no day, but as the night went on, the enormity of the situation started to hit me. Was I really comfortable with that risk?
I understand that the risk is really small and there are great treatments these days, but was I comfortable with taking a risk, even a small one? I am a what if kind of person. All I could think about was my child skinning their knee or having a nosebleed and instead of rushing to immediately help, I have to get gloves first? It broke my heart to even think about it.
I feel terrible about not being comfortable with this situation. After talking to people, I thought I could be, but I just am not. I want to be so bad. But then I wonder if that is my desperation to be a mom talking. I don't want to jump into a situation that I feel I am not capable of dealing with. We have always said that if this situation comes up after we are matched, then we will deal with it, but if I have some control over it, I would prefer not to have my child have that risk.
I applaud those of you who have jumped in with both feet on a situation with this issue. You are amazing people and I know you will do everything in your power for your child. I guess I am not as strong as you guys. Maybe eventually but not right now.
It was a good one; low cost, low openness, baby born sooner rather than later, but then I saw it, Hep c. Everything else outweighed it and we thought we were good to go. Barry was fine with it, even though I was kind of surprised. We have seen friends be matched with moms just like this one and it is low risk of transmitting from mom to baby. I got excited to present so quickly after our terrible two no day, but as the night went on, the enormity of the situation started to hit me. Was I really comfortable with that risk?
I understand that the risk is really small and there are great treatments these days, but was I comfortable with taking a risk, even a small one? I am a what if kind of person. All I could think about was my child skinning their knee or having a nosebleed and instead of rushing to immediately help, I have to get gloves first? It broke my heart to even think about it.
I feel terrible about not being comfortable with this situation. After talking to people, I thought I could be, but I just am not. I want to be so bad. But then I wonder if that is my desperation to be a mom talking. I don't want to jump into a situation that I feel I am not capable of dealing with. We have always said that if this situation comes up after we are matched, then we will deal with it, but if I have some control over it, I would prefer not to have my child have that risk.
I applaud those of you who have jumped in with both feet on a situation with this issue. You are amazing people and I know you will do everything in your power for your child. I guess I am not as strong as you guys. Maybe eventually but not right now.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Worst Day So Far
So, let me tell you all about the worst day we have had in this adoption process. It begins with a ton of hope and ends with questions of why we aren't good enough.
So, almost two weeks ago, we were given a situation that we were interested in presenting to. We sent in everything we needed to and waited. Well, then when it came time to find out her answer, she asked for more time over the weekend. As much as we wanted to know right away, we understood and didn't want to rush her. So we waited til yesterday.
While we waited, we received another situation. This one was good too and really made us want to present to that one as well. We told them that we were waiting for an answer from the first agency (they told us we would have an answer on Monday). They told us that they would hold off presenting to their expectant mom if we would just let them know as soon as we heard something from the first mom. In the meantime, I made sure she had all of our paperwork so that we would be ready just in case we were not chosen by the first mom.
So Monday comes and we are full of hope. Excited that even if the first one didn't choose us, that we had a good chance with the second mom. The first only had 5 profiles to choose from and we thought that was good odds. We were excited. The second agency was getting antsy though because they were planning to present soon. So I wrote to the first agency to find out what was going on. Finally we heard that the mom liked our profile but chose someone else.
I wasn't devastated though because I knew we had the second situation and we even kind of liked it better. We would have been thrilled either way, but this was sooner and had less issues. So I sent the email telling the second agency that we were ready to present. We felt good about this one. We figured it would be at least a day or so before we heard anything back, so we were able to relax and talked about what if situations for getting this baby. Then I got an email from the agency saying that the mom did not like any of the 4 profiles she received and asked for more. WHAT?! This has never happened to us before. That really hurt. They said there is a possibility of her going back to one of them, but that it really didn't look like she would be choosing one of the four that she was presented yesterday. WOW! I didn't know how or what to feel about that. It is one thing to be chosen because they felt a connection to someone else. But to be not chosen because she didn't like any of us, that hurts a little more.
So here we are now, a little shell shocked by starting the week off with two hopeful situations, and now left with nothing. I don't even know what to say. I feel like someone let the wind out of my sails right now. I feel so helpless to understand why we are not being chosen. I know that there is a baby out there somewhere and it's all in God's plan, but not being chosen 8 times hurts.
There was one good thing that happened yesterday. About 10 years ago or so, I met a group of ladies online when we were all starting this journey to have a baby. We have stuck together and supported each other through ups and downs. Well, they sent me a box. I was confused. I opened it and found that they had sent me a baby shower in a box! It was the sweetest thing! And it really did come on the perfect day!
So, almost two weeks ago, we were given a situation that we were interested in presenting to. We sent in everything we needed to and waited. Well, then when it came time to find out her answer, she asked for more time over the weekend. As much as we wanted to know right away, we understood and didn't want to rush her. So we waited til yesterday.
While we waited, we received another situation. This one was good too and really made us want to present to that one as well. We told them that we were waiting for an answer from the first agency (they told us we would have an answer on Monday). They told us that they would hold off presenting to their expectant mom if we would just let them know as soon as we heard something from the first mom. In the meantime, I made sure she had all of our paperwork so that we would be ready just in case we were not chosen by the first mom.
So Monday comes and we are full of hope. Excited that even if the first one didn't choose us, that we had a good chance with the second mom. The first only had 5 profiles to choose from and we thought that was good odds. We were excited. The second agency was getting antsy though because they were planning to present soon. So I wrote to the first agency to find out what was going on. Finally we heard that the mom liked our profile but chose someone else.
I wasn't devastated though because I knew we had the second situation and we even kind of liked it better. We would have been thrilled either way, but this was sooner and had less issues. So I sent the email telling the second agency that we were ready to present. We felt good about this one. We figured it would be at least a day or so before we heard anything back, so we were able to relax and talked about what if situations for getting this baby. Then I got an email from the agency saying that the mom did not like any of the 4 profiles she received and asked for more. WHAT?! This has never happened to us before. That really hurt. They said there is a possibility of her going back to one of them, but that it really didn't look like she would be choosing one of the four that she was presented yesterday. WOW! I didn't know how or what to feel about that. It is one thing to be chosen because they felt a connection to someone else. But to be not chosen because she didn't like any of us, that hurts a little more.
So here we are now, a little shell shocked by starting the week off with two hopeful situations, and now left with nothing. I don't even know what to say. I feel like someone let the wind out of my sails right now. I feel so helpless to understand why we are not being chosen. I know that there is a baby out there somewhere and it's all in God's plan, but not being chosen 8 times hurts.
There was one good thing that happened yesterday. About 10 years ago or so, I met a group of ladies online when we were all starting this journey to have a baby. We have stuck together and supported each other through ups and downs. Well, they sent me a box. I was confused. I opened it and found that they had sent me a baby shower in a box! It was the sweetest thing! And it really did come on the perfect day!
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Nope, This is NOT Me
Yesterday I had a friend tell me that I am selfless, amazing, and strong. Nope, not me. Not any of those really.
Selfless? Not even close. I am pretty selfish. In this process, I feel like a complete fraud. I act all brave and maybe even selfless when in all reality I am so selfish. I want to be chosen! I am jealous of my friends that are chosen before me even when they started after us. I hate waiting. Yes, I am trying to be more selfless by praying for a mom when she makes her decision. Praying that she will do what is best for herself and her child. But all the while, I am screaming PICK ME!
Amazing? Not even close. I feel broken. Can't even do the one thing that the female body was created to do, give life. We have tried for so long and wasted precious time and money. Not amazing.
Strong? I wish. I sit at home and cry almost on a daily basis. This process has been so emotional that I don't even know what to do with myself sometimes. I yell and cry because I am so frustrated with the way things are NOT moving. That is the side of me that no one else sees. I am not strong. I am super weak when it comes to having a baby.
BUT....I put on a brave face every day and try again. Sometimes I just have to fake it. Am I really happy that someone got chosen instead of us, not completely, but then again I realize that that child was meant to be theirs and not ours. Not that it doesn't hurt any less, but I know that deep down. I pick myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and go all in for another situation. Until we find OUR child, that is the insanity that we find ourselves in. It is really amazing how you can 100% fall in love with a child, not get chosen, and then fall 100% in love with the next one. I have been told that when it finally does happen for us that we will realize that it was all worth it. It is hard to see right now, but I hope they are right.
Selfless? Not even close. I am pretty selfish. In this process, I feel like a complete fraud. I act all brave and maybe even selfless when in all reality I am so selfish. I want to be chosen! I am jealous of my friends that are chosen before me even when they started after us. I hate waiting. Yes, I am trying to be more selfless by praying for a mom when she makes her decision. Praying that she will do what is best for herself and her child. But all the while, I am screaming PICK ME!
Amazing? Not even close. I feel broken. Can't even do the one thing that the female body was created to do, give life. We have tried for so long and wasted precious time and money. Not amazing.
Strong? I wish. I sit at home and cry almost on a daily basis. This process has been so emotional that I don't even know what to do with myself sometimes. I yell and cry because I am so frustrated with the way things are NOT moving. That is the side of me that no one else sees. I am not strong. I am super weak when it comes to having a baby.
BUT....I put on a brave face every day and try again. Sometimes I just have to fake it. Am I really happy that someone got chosen instead of us, not completely, but then again I realize that that child was meant to be theirs and not ours. Not that it doesn't hurt any less, but I know that deep down. I pick myself up off the ground, dust myself off, and go all in for another situation. Until we find OUR child, that is the insanity that we find ourselves in. It is really amazing how you can 100% fall in love with a child, not get chosen, and then fall 100% in love with the next one. I have been told that when it finally does happen for us that we will realize that it was all worth it. It is hard to see right now, but I hope they are right.
Monday, August 17, 2015
What is she thinking about tonight?
We presented today. As we wait for an answer, I wonder, what is she thinking about tonight? Is she as nervous as we are? I imagine she must be crazy nervous trying to make the best possible decision for her child. Does she know that we are feeling that nervousness too? That we are praying and hoping that she will decide that we are the right parents for her son. That we pray for her and her decision? That we just pray for her and the life she leads both now and after she places her child with another family?
Is she flip flopping between two or more profiles? Does she keep flipping through the pages of the profiles looking at those smiling faces, reading about their hopes and dreams? How do you make that brave decision to give the ultimate gift to a couple like us? I imagine all of the profiles she has looked at today have a sad but hopeful story of infertility or failed adoptions. How does she choose?
As much as I know the wait is agonizing for us, I can't even imagine what she is going through. We don't know how long it will take to hear back, but even though it is so painful for me, I will give her the time she needs to make her decision. We will wait.
UPDATE...Apparently the message I was sent yesterday was wrong. Apparently the mom got the profiles this morning. We will see.
Is she flip flopping between two or more profiles? Does she keep flipping through the pages of the profiles looking at those smiling faces, reading about their hopes and dreams? How do you make that brave decision to give the ultimate gift to a couple like us? I imagine all of the profiles she has looked at today have a sad but hopeful story of infertility or failed adoptions. How does she choose?
As much as I know the wait is agonizing for us, I can't even imagine what she is going through. We don't know how long it will take to hear back, but even though it is so painful for me, I will give her the time she needs to make her decision. We will wait.
UPDATE...Apparently the message I was sent yesterday was wrong. Apparently the mom got the profiles this morning. We will see.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Think Before You Speak...
The other night, when they heard me say we were adopting, someone made some comments that really threw me. She said that they had some friends that adopted internationally and it was such a great experience (not the part that upset me). What hit me was when she said that if we weren't chosen again that we should try that because then there was pretty much no chance that the family would come back and take the child! I told her that we were not concerned about that and she looked shocked. Then she asked me if I was worried that my child would one day tell me that they wanted to go live with their real family. No, because we would be their real family!
I found myself having to explain myself over and over lately. People are very anti-open adoption. I really think it is because the just don't understand how it works and how much more healthy it is. I start off by telling them that when we began this process, we were just like them. We wanted a closed or semi-open adoption. We were fine with sending pictures and updates but we really weren't open to the idea of visits and really getting to know the birth mom. But then that changed. I read about other moms who decided open adoption was the best for their children and the birth mom and I started to see how special and how amazing that relationship could be. I saw that my child wouldn't have to wonder about their story, we could just ask. He or she would know from the beginning that their birth mom loved them so much that she allowed us to be his or her parents. That we wanted them so much that we searched and found the perfect child for us. I REFUSE for this adoption to be a dirty little secret. I want my child to be proud to be adopted. Proud that their birth mom made a brave choice to set up a plan when she knew it wasn't possible for her to raise a child. And I want my child to know that we didn't just get pregnant, we searched and searched until all the pieces came together and brought us to each other. That we were meant to be.
Will our adoption story be exactly like others we have seen? Probably not. Will it always be an easy road in an open adoption? Probably not, but we can try. I really want the birth mom to feel like an member of our extended family. She will have given us the greatest gift that would could never repay. She will be in my heart forever, because she will be the one who makes it possible for me to be called MOM.
I found myself having to explain myself over and over lately. People are very anti-open adoption. I really think it is because the just don't understand how it works and how much more healthy it is. I start off by telling them that when we began this process, we were just like them. We wanted a closed or semi-open adoption. We were fine with sending pictures and updates but we really weren't open to the idea of visits and really getting to know the birth mom. But then that changed. I read about other moms who decided open adoption was the best for their children and the birth mom and I started to see how special and how amazing that relationship could be. I saw that my child wouldn't have to wonder about their story, we could just ask. He or she would know from the beginning that their birth mom loved them so much that she allowed us to be his or her parents. That we wanted them so much that we searched and found the perfect child for us. I REFUSE for this adoption to be a dirty little secret. I want my child to be proud to be adopted. Proud that their birth mom made a brave choice to set up a plan when she knew it wasn't possible for her to raise a child. And I want my child to know that we didn't just get pregnant, we searched and searched until all the pieces came together and brought us to each other. That we were meant to be.
Will our adoption story be exactly like others we have seen? Probably not. Will it always be an easy road in an open adoption? Probably not, but we can try. I really want the birth mom to feel like an member of our extended family. She will have given us the greatest gift that would could never repay. She will be in my heart forever, because she will be the one who makes it possible for me to be called MOM.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Here we go again!
So, what is the best thing to do when you feel like you have been knocked down in this crazy process?! DO IT AGAIN! So we are presenting again this week. When you are in the midst of the process, it seems like you get nothing, but looking back lately it does seem like we have gotten a little more situations lately. Now they seem to be coming from places we didn't expect or even know about when we started.
But anyway, I sent in our profile and home study and now we wait again. We will see what happens. They are supposed to present either tomorrow or Friday. Worst part, waiting over a weekend. At least between work and our good friend's "I Do BBQ" we should be plenty busy to keep our minds off of it. I did get it sent in early, so maybe for once we will benefit from a birth mom wanting to see profiles early. :) We can only hope!
So for now, we wait.....
But anyway, I sent in our profile and home study and now we wait again. We will see what happens. They are supposed to present either tomorrow or Friday. Worst part, waiting over a weekend. At least between work and our good friend's "I Do BBQ" we should be plenty busy to keep our minds off of it. I did get it sent in early, so maybe for once we will benefit from a birth mom wanting to see profiles early. :) We can only hope!
So for now, we wait.....
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Pretty sure this is not a good thing.
In this process, I am finding that I am getting used to faking my emotions. Mostly faking being happy or being hopeful. I find myself having to plaster on a fake smile and pretend that adoption is such an amazing experience to go through. Hopefully this time next year I will be saying a completely different thing, but not right now. This is not amazing right now. In fact, right now this process SUCKS! I am tired of my emotions being dragged through the mud. Hopeful with a situation because there is no other way to be when you need to think about a child fitting into your life, but then angry and sad and depressed when we don't get selected. If you haven't been through this process there is just no way to understand what this is like. Yes, you may understand the feelings of rejection and disappointment, but after seeing that sweet baby's face and absolutely falling in love and then being told oh, you can't have him. That is feeling unlike anything that I have been through before now.
But out of everything, I have to say that the thing that drives me so crazy is looks of pity. When we were trying to get pregnant, I saw those looks all the time. Family, friends, doctors, nurses, etc. During the IVF process, I saw it. At the beginning of the adoption process, all I saw was hope in people's faces when they talked with me about it. Now, six months in, all I see is that look of pity again. How do I stay positive when all I see when I talk to people is that look of pity? Hope is a concept that I am quickly losing. I don't know how to hope anymore. Every time I have hope or feel hopeful I get shot down. i do know this will work out in the end. Just worried that the end is so far away that I might completely lose hope.
But out of everything, I have to say that the thing that drives me so crazy is looks of pity. When we were trying to get pregnant, I saw those looks all the time. Family, friends, doctors, nurses, etc. During the IVF process, I saw it. At the beginning of the adoption process, all I saw was hope in people's faces when they talked with me about it. Now, six months in, all I see is that look of pity again. How do I stay positive when all I see when I talk to people is that look of pity? Hope is a concept that I am quickly losing. I don't know how to hope anymore. Every time I have hope or feel hopeful I get shot down. i do know this will work out in the end. Just worried that the end is so far away that I might completely lose hope.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
How long is too long? How much is too much?
This is what I am wondering about today. We have a situation where the wait time could be five and a half months. A lot sounds great with it but how long is too long? And the budget is much higher than we wanted. So I wonder how much is too much? Is it weird that just now a thought entered my head. It is like God is saying you said you could trust me to find you x amount, but will you trust me to help you find even more?
This situation seems like it would be a sure thing (as sure as it can be) that the parents would place the baby, but you just never know. I was really hoping for a baby this year, but maybe that wasn't God's plan. Guess we will see. Still have to talk it over with Barry and see what he thinks.
This situation seems like it would be a sure thing (as sure as it can be) that the parents would place the baby, but you just never know. I was really hoping for a baby this year, but maybe that wasn't God's plan. Guess we will see. Still have to talk it over with Barry and see what he thinks.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Nothing....SIX months later
Wait. That is all I ever hear. That or no. We had one good week of situations and then nothing. We haven't seen anything in a couple weeks. I have been busy making things for friends and planning for an I Do BBQ, so that has helped a little bit. But I have to admit, when I sit alone at home, I feel super sad. I feel jealous of those with babies already. I feel sad that we haven't been matched. I definitely feel left out. I feel mad that people don't t want to help us raise money (don't get me wrong, we have a few amazing people that have been super helpful). I hate that I feel we are doing this all on our own.
I hear all the time that we will look back and it will all be worth it. I understand and believe that but that doesn't make this time any less difficult. This has taken way longer than I ever thought. Today has been SIX months since we were home study approved. Other people have been home study approved, matched, and had their babies already. We still have nothing. Some days it is hard to have any hope. I go into the nursery we have put together and just feel sad. We were so excited to put together a nursery since we had never had this much hope before. Now it is just a reminder that we still don't have a baby.
I hear all the time that we will look back and it will all be worth it. I understand and believe that but that doesn't make this time any less difficult. This has taken way longer than I ever thought. Today has been SIX months since we were home study approved. Other people have been home study approved, matched, and had their babies already. We still have nothing. Some days it is hard to have any hope. I go into the nursery we have put together and just feel sad. We were so excited to put together a nursery since we had never had this much hope before. Now it is just a reminder that we still don't have a baby.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Fundraising...
So, we haven't been having a huge success with our fundraising efforts. We have tried gofundme.com and that has brought in some from some of our amazing friends. We sent out letters explaining our situation to friends and family and we have received some through there as well. Now we have decided to do a t-shirt fundraiser. My brother Matt took a design that I showed him and made it our own. We need to sell 11 to get them printed and we would love to sell all 50 that we set out to sell. After the 21 days of this sale is up, we will probably do it again with another design.
https://www.bonfirefunds.com/barry-and-jens-adoption-fundraiser
I really hate trying to get people to give us money. As much as I know it will take us forever to pay of these loans, I just don't really like having to count on others to raise the money. People always ask us about why adoption is so much more expensive than having a baby. One HUGE point is this, most people have insurance to cover the birth of their child. Insurance doesn't cover adoption. Ours didn't even cover fertility treatments. Also, we have found out that most of the money for adoption goes to the agencies. The birth mom only really sees a small portion of the money for her expenses while she carries the baby.
We recently saw a situation that was over $3,000 over our budget. Even though the money was so much higher than we had planned, we felt super passionate about the situation. We said that if it was the right one, we would trust that God would provide the money we needed to make up the difference.
For those of you who have helped us already and those who will help in the future, we appreciate you more than you will ever know. Thank you so much for being a part of our adoption story.
https://www.bonfirefunds.com/barry-and-jens-adoption-fundraiser
I really hate trying to get people to give us money. As much as I know it will take us forever to pay of these loans, I just don't really like having to count on others to raise the money. People always ask us about why adoption is so much more expensive than having a baby. One HUGE point is this, most people have insurance to cover the birth of their child. Insurance doesn't cover adoption. Ours didn't even cover fertility treatments. Also, we have found out that most of the money for adoption goes to the agencies. The birth mom only really sees a small portion of the money for her expenses while she carries the baby.
We recently saw a situation that was over $3,000 over our budget. Even though the money was so much higher than we had planned, we felt super passionate about the situation. We said that if it was the right one, we would trust that God would provide the money we needed to make up the difference.
For those of you who have helped us already and those who will help in the future, we appreciate you more than you will ever know. Thank you so much for being a part of our adoption story.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Congrats to our friends...
Even though I have been down in the dumps about our adoption process, I want to congratulate our friends Lisa and Jim on their beautiful baby boy Nathaniel. He was born on our anniversary and we couldn't share the day with a cuter little guy! I am so happy for them and pray that they get to head home soon!
Disappointment
Ever have that thing that you want so badly and all signs point to you getting that thing, only to be disappointed? That is how I felt this week. Tuesday we presented to what we thought was an awesome situation. It was a little over our budget but we figured that God would provide the money we needed if this was what we were supposed to do. All the other things that we had been scared about were not a factor in this situation. We hadn't presented in so long so it felt so good to find such a great situation. So we told them yes and we waited.........
Friday our consultant told us that there was no news. We were okay not hearing until Monday. We still felt good about it. Then Saturday night while I was at work, I checked my email and found the message I had been dreading, they had chosen someone else. So disappointed.
We did have another situation waiting though so that made us feel a little better. It always helps after a no to have another one to take your mind off of the sadness. So we checked into that and were leaning towards presenting when we got an email this morning. Instead of answering our questions about the upcoming situation, they told us that the mom wanted to see the profiles on Friday instead of waiting until Wednesday. We were out on that one now as well. Super frustrating.
Friday our consultant told us that there was no news. We were okay not hearing until Monday. We still felt good about it. Then Saturday night while I was at work, I checked my email and found the message I had been dreading, they had chosen someone else. So disappointed.
We did have another situation waiting though so that made us feel a little better. It always helps after a no to have another one to take your mind off of the sadness. So we checked into that and were leaning towards presenting when we got an email this morning. Instead of answering our questions about the upcoming situation, they told us that the mom wanted to see the profiles on Friday instead of waiting until Wednesday. We were out on that one now as well. Super frustrating.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Projects
Just a few of the nursery projects I have completed! I didn't even know how to sew before I started these. Barry had to teach me!
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| Closet Dividers |
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| Car seat cover |
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| Changing Pad Cover |
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| 2nd Attempt at a blanket |
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| Arm Saver |
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| Burp Cloths |
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| We made those curtains! |
Things I have learned...
I have learned some things during this process.
-waiting makes me mad! I know we would be great parents.
-I need my friends and family to be supportive of us. Be excited with us, be sad with us! You are a part of our family and we need you.
-making baby things for a baby that isn't here yet might be a little crazy, but it keeps me positive and busy.
-Drug addictions aren't quite as worrisome when looking at situations as I thought! There are far bigger red flags than that.
-Apparently I am not as picky as other people...my agency actually said that we are far more open than most people they work with...some of you are shocked, I know.
-Adoption is not an easy process. Just adopt is not true at all. There is no such thing.
-This is the most emotional process I have ever been through. I have cried, yelled, been excited, been devastated, etc.
-Wondered why not me more times than I can count.
-Realized I just want a baby. Preferences are just that, preferences. I will love my child no matter what!
-waiting makes me mad! I know we would be great parents.
-I need my friends and family to be supportive of us. Be excited with us, be sad with us! You are a part of our family and we need you.
-making baby things for a baby that isn't here yet might be a little crazy, but it keeps me positive and busy.
-Drug addictions aren't quite as worrisome when looking at situations as I thought! There are far bigger red flags than that.
-Apparently I am not as picky as other people...my agency actually said that we are far more open than most people they work with...some of you are shocked, I know.
-Adoption is not an easy process. Just adopt is not true at all. There is no such thing.
-This is the most emotional process I have ever been through. I have cried, yelled, been excited, been devastated, etc.
-Wondered why not me more times than I can count.
-Realized I just want a baby. Preferences are just that, preferences. I will love my child no matter what!
Update...Nothing new
I just realized today that it has been a couple months since I have updated the blog. Well, there is a reason for that....NOTHING much has been happening. We have not presented since May. It feels like forever.
We did hear back on the matching grant. No such luck. They don't ever let you know why you were not chosen so we have no clue. We did go ahead and send out letters to our friends and family trying to raise money to pay for this adoption. We applied for a grant as well, but we later found out that it was more like a loan. They expected to be paid back if we received a tax credit. No thank you, we already have a loan.
We did present to one situation awhile back. It was a long shot and we knew it. She really wanted someone that lived closer to her in Florida and would come for visits often. We wrote her a letter and told her that we could visit every other year when we come to Florida to visit family. We knew it was a long shot so we weren't super attached to this situation. We would have loved the heck out of that baby had she chosen us but we knew we weren't exactly what she was looking for.
In the last month, we found out about another agency a little closer to home. Adoption Choices of Texas. We talked with the lady there and decided that it was a good fit. We also realized that we could be far more open with a mom in our home state because we could drive anywhere in a weekend if it was here in Texas. So, even though we had to figure out where the application fee would come from, we applied and were accepted. The neat thing about this agency is that not only will we see situations from Texas, but also Nevada, Oklahoma, Arizona, and Colorado. So we are hoping for more from them soon. We have already seen a couple from them but none that worked well for us.
So, again, we are trying to keep busy and try to not wonder too much if we will ever get picked. We are in the 5th month of waiting. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.
We did hear back on the matching grant. No such luck. They don't ever let you know why you were not chosen so we have no clue. We did go ahead and send out letters to our friends and family trying to raise money to pay for this adoption. We applied for a grant as well, but we later found out that it was more like a loan. They expected to be paid back if we received a tax credit. No thank you, we already have a loan.
We did present to one situation awhile back. It was a long shot and we knew it. She really wanted someone that lived closer to her in Florida and would come for visits often. We wrote her a letter and told her that we could visit every other year when we come to Florida to visit family. We knew it was a long shot so we weren't super attached to this situation. We would have loved the heck out of that baby had she chosen us but we knew we weren't exactly what she was looking for.
In the last month, we found out about another agency a little closer to home. Adoption Choices of Texas. We talked with the lady there and decided that it was a good fit. We also realized that we could be far more open with a mom in our home state because we could drive anywhere in a weekend if it was here in Texas. So, even though we had to figure out where the application fee would come from, we applied and were accepted. The neat thing about this agency is that not only will we see situations from Texas, but also Nevada, Oklahoma, Arizona, and Colorado. So we are hoping for more from them soon. We have already seen a couple from them but none that worked well for us.
So, again, we are trying to keep busy and try to not wonder too much if we will ever get picked. We are in the 5th month of waiting. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Nothing....
I think the thought of no situations is worse than presenting and not being chosen sometimes. We have only seen two situations this whole month. It is so frustrating when all around me everyone is getting matched and we aren't seeing anything! I try to be happy for other people but I begin to wonder why we aren't seeing anything? Why are we not getting chosen? What is wrong with us?
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Still Waiting
So, I was so wrong when I thought this would be a quick process. I guess I was tricked by the fact that everything else went so quickly. Application to consultant, super quick. Home study process, less than two weeks. Waiting to be matched, three months now but feels like forever. I have some hope that even though it might take awhile, it will happen. I just wish I knew when.
We applied for a matching grant last week. It is kind of a neat idea. If we get approved to do it, they will give us a number of what they will give us, then we send out letters to friends and family asking them to help us out. Up to that certain number, whatever we raise will be matched by the grant people. I really hope that our friends and family will help us with this.
We also applied to a new agency yesterday. We are trying to help ourselves to get more situations. This one is in Utah so that would be interesting. Hope it will make a difference!
UPDATE...the agency in Utah was a bust. Even though they saw situations for our budget, they were requiring us to have a budget $3,000 higher. We just couldn't do that so I guess we are stuck with what we have for now.
We applied for a matching grant last week. It is kind of a neat idea. If we get approved to do it, they will give us a number of what they will give us, then we send out letters to friends and family asking them to help us out. Up to that certain number, whatever we raise will be matched by the grant people. I really hope that our friends and family will help us with this.
We also applied to a new agency yesterday. We are trying to help ourselves to get more situations. This one is in Utah so that would be interesting. Hope it will make a difference!
UPDATE...the agency in Utah was a bust. Even though they saw situations for our budget, they were requiring us to have a budget $3,000 higher. We just couldn't do that so I guess we are stuck with what we have for now.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
This is definitely the craziest roller coaster ride ever!
Wow, I was not very prepared for the emotional mess that the adoption process would bring out of me. I am always an emotional person, but boy oh boy, this has made it far worse. How can I not get excited at the possibility of finally having a baby in our home? It is really hard when everyone around you is telling you not to get invested each time you present. I don't really know how to be that way. I know I can and do give the situation to God, but I still need to plan how things will go if it does work out. There are lots of plans to make about meeting the expectant mom and being there for the birth. It really doesn't matter what situation it is, I will be planning. I can't help but dream about life with our baby in our lives. How will things go, what will he look like? There is no way around that.
In the meantime, I am trying to keep busy. I have been making all sorts of things for the nursery. Curtains, changing pad covers, arm savers, and changers for the diaper bag. I am really enjoying it. Had to take a little break from the projects to make sure to clean the house and do laundry, but today is project day! I needed to be busy this week. Keeps me from thinking about the situation we are presenting to on Friday. Another boy (funny that we have really only seen boys, lol).
So, I just hope our friends and family can just be excited with us. I know that some want to keep neutral so they don't upset me when things go bad, but that isn't what I want. I want people to be excited and optimistic when we present and then you can be sad with me when we aren't chosen or ecstatic with us when we are! Just be there for us through this process.
In the meantime, I am trying to keep busy. I have been making all sorts of things for the nursery. Curtains, changing pad covers, arm savers, and changers for the diaper bag. I am really enjoying it. Had to take a little break from the projects to make sure to clean the house and do laundry, but today is project day! I needed to be busy this week. Keeps me from thinking about the situation we are presenting to on Friday. Another boy (funny that we have really only seen boys, lol).
So, I just hope our friends and family can just be excited with us. I know that some want to keep neutral so they don't upset me when things go bad, but that isn't what I want. I want people to be excited and optimistic when we present and then you can be sad with me when we aren't chosen or ecstatic with us when we are! Just be there for us through this process.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Presenting AGAIN?!?
So, we definitely had a rough weekend, but we stayed busy and made it through. I told Barry that I really needed a situation to come in today to help me move on from that no. Two hours later, we had another good situation to look at. Within a few minutes of going over everything, we knew that if all our questions were answered the way we thought they would be, we would be ready to present to another expectant mommy. Turns out this one is with the agency that we joined already and the cost is a little less that the other so we would be able to use some for travel expenses too. Plus they already have our profile and home study so that should save us some time and hopefully put us toward the top of the stack. So, now we wait again.....
Just Another No...
So, after all the running around and waiting, we found out our answer was no. Friday was an awesome day to start out with. I went and got my nails done and then went and picked up a huge box of baby boy clothes that someone was selling for $60 (probably worth over $200). I got home and then started getting ready for work. Before this waiting period, I looked forward to the beep of my cell phone telling me that I had an email. Not anymore. We wanted a phone call this time with the news we had been hoping for.
But that call never came. Instead an email with the news telling us that she had chosen someone from the first group of profiles. At that point, a million questions go through your head...were we not good enough? why didn't she like us? did she even see our profile? I called Barry with the sad news and then had to go to work. The excitement that I had been feeling was not just a pit in my stomach. My boss asked if I needed to go home. NO, that would not be a good idea. Sit at home with the box of cute baby clothes I just bought? Sit there and think about what might have been? Nope, I needed to have a busy night at work to keep my mind off of that baby boy. But I made it and am doing much better now.
But that call never came. Instead an email with the news telling us that she had chosen someone from the first group of profiles. At that point, a million questions go through your head...were we not good enough? why didn't she like us? did she even see our profile? I called Barry with the sad news and then had to go to work. The excitement that I had been feeling was not just a pit in my stomach. My boss asked if I needed to go home. NO, that would not be a good idea. Sit at home with the box of cute baby clothes I just bought? Sit there and think about what might have been? Nope, I needed to have a busy night at work to keep my mind off of that baby boy. But I made it and am doing much better now.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
The Waiting Game
So, that perfect situation from the previous post, not so impossible after all. We had pretty much given up on it all weekend. So sad, since it seemed perfect for us. Saturday morning we had gotten an email saying that they had enough profiles. We were out.
Monday morning we woke up to a message from our consultant saying that if the other lady had said we were in the second group to be presented to the mom, then we should get our profile sent in right away. We also finally got the answers to our questions. So we over nighted the profile and home study to the birth mother and her social worker. We talked with the bank and upped the loan to cover all of the expenses. And now the hardest part of all.......we wait. We wait to see if this young woman decides to allow us to parent her little boy. We know that there are others waiting for the same thing. That makes me sad. Now, where I once was excited to get an email in hopes it is the next situation, I cringe every time for fear that it is the dreaded no.
I remind myself daily that whatever is meant to be will be. But that is hard to believe all the time. I know that God has the perfect child for us out there somewhere. If it is this beautiful little man, we are excited to see him and bring him home to make him ours. If it is another beautiful child waiting for us, that is great too. Just hoping that the wait isn't too long either way.
Monday morning we woke up to a message from our consultant saying that if the other lady had said we were in the second group to be presented to the mom, then we should get our profile sent in right away. We also finally got the answers to our questions. So we over nighted the profile and home study to the birth mother and her social worker. We talked with the bank and upped the loan to cover all of the expenses. And now the hardest part of all.......we wait. We wait to see if this young woman decides to allow us to parent her little boy. We know that there are others waiting for the same thing. That makes me sad. Now, where I once was excited to get an email in hopes it is the next situation, I cringe every time for fear that it is the dreaded no.
I remind myself daily that whatever is meant to be will be. But that is hard to believe all the time. I know that God has the perfect child for us out there somewhere. If it is this beautiful little man, we are excited to see him and bring him home to make him ours. If it is another beautiful child waiting for us, that is great too. Just hoping that the wait isn't too long either way.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Perfect Baby That Wasn't
So, yesterday we found out about a beautiful baby boy that we fell in love with the moment we saw him. He was born in December and his name started with a B, all signs to us that it was "meant to be." The only hurdle was that the monies needed were quite a bit higher than we had budgeted. But we knew that for the right baby we could pay more than our budget; we would make it happen. But we had questions, and no one to answer them. The other agency answered some but we were waiting to hear answers to our main questions still. We contacted our lender to see what we could do about raising the amount on our loan. We were waiting on a reply from them and then we could send off our profile to be seen by the birth mom. The other agency had sent a letter saying that she had some profiles already, but that we could be in the second batch.
So anyway, I got up this morning to an email from our consultant saying that they already had enough profiles. How in the heck did they get enough profiles in the 12 hours since I got the information? Maybe they are all right there near where the baby was born? No one gave us any other options of delivery other than mailing it overnight. I am baffled about how this works I guess.
Our consultant tells us that the first couple situations are to help us see how things work. But what if one of those situations that she sees as "practice" is the right one? This was the first situation that I saw being right for us. I am left feeling a little said and rejected. We didn't receive the help we thought we would.
So anyway, I got up this morning to an email from our consultant saying that they already had enough profiles. How in the heck did they get enough profiles in the 12 hours since I got the information? Maybe they are all right there near where the baby was born? No one gave us any other options of delivery other than mailing it overnight. I am baffled about how this works I guess.
Our consultant tells us that the first couple situations are to help us see how things work. But what if one of those situations that she sees as "practice" is the right one? This was the first situation that I saw being right for us. I am left feeling a little said and rejected. We didn't receive the help we thought we would.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Accepted, but feeling rejected!
Today I received an email from one of the agencies we applied to earlier this week. We are accepted and ready to receive situations. Hopefully this will raise the number of situations we will see. So far, we have only seen one situation.
And that brings me to the feeling rejected part. I feel bad that we have not gotten any other situations in the past two weeks. I feel like we should have seen something by now. I know I need to be patient and wait but that is way easier said than done.
The other thing that irritated me this week happened on Facebook. We recently started a gofundme page to help with the fundraising; to give friends and family the opportunity to help us bring home our baby. A friend that I met through work decided to share it on her page as well. Apparently, a friend of hers took that as the time to tell me off when it came to adoption. Apparently, she adopted through the foster care system where she did not have to "buy" her kid, as she seem to think we were doing. Plus she had the nerve to say we were begging people for money. I tried to educate her, but then decided she wasn't worth my time. The friend later got on there and blasted her for what she said, and it was later removed. It was nice to see that my friends stood up for me and encouraged me. Thanks to those who did. You know who you are.
And that brings me to the feeling rejected part. I feel bad that we have not gotten any other situations in the past two weeks. I feel like we should have seen something by now. I know I need to be patient and wait but that is way easier said than done.
The other thing that irritated me this week happened on Facebook. We recently started a gofundme page to help with the fundraising; to give friends and family the opportunity to help us bring home our baby. A friend that I met through work decided to share it on her page as well. Apparently, a friend of hers took that as the time to tell me off when it came to adoption. Apparently, she adopted through the foster care system where she did not have to "buy" her kid, as she seem to think we were doing. Plus she had the nerve to say we were begging people for money. I tried to educate her, but then decided she wasn't worth my time. The friend later got on there and blasted her for what she said, and it was later removed. It was nice to see that my friends stood up for me and encouraged me. Thanks to those who did. You know who you are.
Applying to adoption agencies!
So, this week we got two applications off to the adoption agencies. Ironically, they are both in Florida.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Starting the Nursery!
So we have finally decided to start a nursery. It is kind of nice to actually be able to start one for the first time. This time we know we will have a baby eventually. Who knows how long it will take, but we will have a baby.
So with our schedules lately, we have not been able to find a time for us to go shopping for a crib. We finally decided to go this Sunday. Definitely not the best day to go to Dallas. It rained the entire way there (sometimes really crazy rain) and there was impending ice and snow coming at 6pm.
So with our schedules lately, we have not been able to find a time for us to go shopping for a crib. We finally decided to go this Sunday. Definitely not the best day to go to Dallas. It rained the entire way there (sometimes really crazy rain) and there was impending ice and snow coming at 6pm.
So we made it to Dallas safely and pulled into the toys r us/babies r us parking lot that we have seen every time we came to the mall in Arlington. We went in and found absolutely no cribs! I mean NONE! I was getting extremely angry at the idea that we had driven all this way and now we would leave empty handed?! We did find the bedding set that we had decided on but I was still angry. I told Barry that I was going to ask on the way out if there was another store that actually had cribs in the area. He asked me to wait til he got outside before I got mean to the lady. I asked her and she said Babies r us. I said, I thought we were in Babies r us. She then told us where there was an actual Babies r us with all the cribs.
So we drove a couple blocks and found the store we should have been in from the beginning. We went back and forth across the store trying to decide between two cribs. I told Barry that we would take whichever of the two that they had in the store right then. We just barely were able to fit it in the back seat of the truck. I felt bad because Barry couldn't see out the back window.
But we made it home and put the crib together in the nursery. Still have a lot to do in the nursery - going to do a wood wall behind the crib and going to paint a wall, a bookshelf, and a dresser.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Up to date
So, for now, you are all up to date. We are waiting for the official home study report so that we can apply to adoption agencies. And we are waiting for our profile books to arrive (hopefully today). After those two things happen, we will be waiting for the right situation to come our way. When we find the right situation, we will present our book to the birth mother and wait to see if she chooses us to parent her child. So that is where we are today. I will update as things move along!
Finally able to buy baby stuff...
So, for the first time in 14 years, we have been able to start making purchases for our baby and our nursery! I went straight out after we passed our home study and bought the first cute outfit I loved.
Barry didn't even comment that it would look funny on our son, lol. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love pink flamingos!
We had already found a swing we loved so we bought it.
And we actually bought an awesome stroller. It should be a good one for a long time and we love it!
Home Study Feb 5, 2015
I stressed about the home study for weeks. I cleaned and cleaned and worried and cleaned some more. Then the day was finally here. Kristen at Adoption Answers was wonderful. She asked her questions and we answered. It was nowhere near the horror that I have imagined it to be. Wrigley was a terror that day, lol. He thought she needed to pet him and kept trying to be in her lap. Thank goodness that didn't matter. She told us before she left that we had passed and all was good.
I sometimes wonder what these people actually think of me, lol. I know I have emailed this poor woman so many times with so many questions. I know she is happy that we passed the home study anyway, but I bet she is thrilled to be almost done with me.
I sometimes wonder what these people actually think of me, lol. I know I have emailed this poor woman so many times with so many questions. I know she is happy that we passed the home study anyway, but I bet she is thrilled to be almost done with me.
Christian Adoption Consultants January 2015
We finally decided we were ready to start the adoption process at the beginning of January 2015! New year, new adventure!
Thanks to a friend who had recently adopted, we heard about Susan and Christian Adoption Consultants. She helped us to get started. She also guided us in the process and what to do next. Then, she sent us PAPERWORK PAPERWORK PAPERWORK!!!!
Thanks to a friend who had recently adopted, we heard about Susan and Christian Adoption Consultants. She helped us to get started. She also guided us in the process and what to do next. Then, she sent us PAPERWORK PAPERWORK PAPERWORK!!!!
Susan will not only help us with the paperwork, but she will also do our profile book and help us to look for situations. She is also a great source of comfort when I go a little crazy and need answers!
WE ARE ADOPTING!
After many years of trying to get pregnant, we made the decision to have our child a different way. We finally realized that a baby is what we want and we don't care whether we have a child biologically or through adoption. We just know that we want a child that we can love and teach and share our lives with. I know that times will be tough and there will be lots of waiting, but we know that at the end, we will have a child of our own!
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