So, we haven't been having a huge success with our fundraising efforts. We have tried gofundme.com and that has brought in some from some of our amazing friends. We sent out letters explaining our situation to friends and family and we have received some through there as well. Now we have decided to do a t-shirt fundraiser. My brother Matt took a design that I showed him and made it our own. We need to sell 11 to get them printed and we would love to sell all 50 that we set out to sell. After the 21 days of this sale is up, we will probably do it again with another design.
https://www.bonfirefunds.com/barry-and-jens-adoption-fundraiser
I really hate trying to get people to give us money. As much as I know it will take us forever to pay of these loans, I just don't really like having to count on others to raise the money. People always ask us about why adoption is so much more expensive than having a baby. One HUGE point is this, most people have insurance to cover the birth of their child. Insurance doesn't cover adoption. Ours didn't even cover fertility treatments. Also, we have found out that most of the money for adoption goes to the agencies. The birth mom only really sees a small portion of the money for her expenses while she carries the baby.
We recently saw a situation that was over $3,000 over our budget. Even though the money was so much higher than we had planned, we felt super passionate about the situation. We said that if it was the right one, we would trust that God would provide the money we needed to make up the difference.
For those of you who have helped us already and those who will help in the future, we appreciate you more than you will ever know. Thank you so much for being a part of our adoption story.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
Congrats to our friends...
Even though I have been down in the dumps about our adoption process, I want to congratulate our friends Lisa and Jim on their beautiful baby boy Nathaniel. He was born on our anniversary and we couldn't share the day with a cuter little guy! I am so happy for them and pray that they get to head home soon!
Disappointment
Ever have that thing that you want so badly and all signs point to you getting that thing, only to be disappointed? That is how I felt this week. Tuesday we presented to what we thought was an awesome situation. It was a little over our budget but we figured that God would provide the money we needed if this was what we were supposed to do. All the other things that we had been scared about were not a factor in this situation. We hadn't presented in so long so it felt so good to find such a great situation. So we told them yes and we waited.........
Friday our consultant told us that there was no news. We were okay not hearing until Monday. We still felt good about it. Then Saturday night while I was at work, I checked my email and found the message I had been dreading, they had chosen someone else. So disappointed.
We did have another situation waiting though so that made us feel a little better. It always helps after a no to have another one to take your mind off of the sadness. So we checked into that and were leaning towards presenting when we got an email this morning. Instead of answering our questions about the upcoming situation, they told us that the mom wanted to see the profiles on Friday instead of waiting until Wednesday. We were out on that one now as well. Super frustrating.
Friday our consultant told us that there was no news. We were okay not hearing until Monday. We still felt good about it. Then Saturday night while I was at work, I checked my email and found the message I had been dreading, they had chosen someone else. So disappointed.
We did have another situation waiting though so that made us feel a little better. It always helps after a no to have another one to take your mind off of the sadness. So we checked into that and were leaning towards presenting when we got an email this morning. Instead of answering our questions about the upcoming situation, they told us that the mom wanted to see the profiles on Friday instead of waiting until Wednesday. We were out on that one now as well. Super frustrating.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Projects
Just a few of the nursery projects I have completed! I didn't even know how to sew before I started these. Barry had to teach me!
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| Closet Dividers |
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| Car seat cover |
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| Changing Pad Cover |
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| 2nd Attempt at a blanket |
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| Arm Saver |
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| Burp Cloths |
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| We made those curtains! |
Things I have learned...
I have learned some things during this process.
-waiting makes me mad! I know we would be great parents.
-I need my friends and family to be supportive of us. Be excited with us, be sad with us! You are a part of our family and we need you.
-making baby things for a baby that isn't here yet might be a little crazy, but it keeps me positive and busy.
-Drug addictions aren't quite as worrisome when looking at situations as I thought! There are far bigger red flags than that.
-Apparently I am not as picky as other people...my agency actually said that we are far more open than most people they work with...some of you are shocked, I know.
-Adoption is not an easy process. Just adopt is not true at all. There is no such thing.
-This is the most emotional process I have ever been through. I have cried, yelled, been excited, been devastated, etc.
-Wondered why not me more times than I can count.
-Realized I just want a baby. Preferences are just that, preferences. I will love my child no matter what!
-waiting makes me mad! I know we would be great parents.
-I need my friends and family to be supportive of us. Be excited with us, be sad with us! You are a part of our family and we need you.
-making baby things for a baby that isn't here yet might be a little crazy, but it keeps me positive and busy.
-Drug addictions aren't quite as worrisome when looking at situations as I thought! There are far bigger red flags than that.
-Apparently I am not as picky as other people...my agency actually said that we are far more open than most people they work with...some of you are shocked, I know.
-Adoption is not an easy process. Just adopt is not true at all. There is no such thing.
-This is the most emotional process I have ever been through. I have cried, yelled, been excited, been devastated, etc.
-Wondered why not me more times than I can count.
-Realized I just want a baby. Preferences are just that, preferences. I will love my child no matter what!
Update...Nothing new
I just realized today that it has been a couple months since I have updated the blog. Well, there is a reason for that....NOTHING much has been happening. We have not presented since May. It feels like forever.
We did hear back on the matching grant. No such luck. They don't ever let you know why you were not chosen so we have no clue. We did go ahead and send out letters to our friends and family trying to raise money to pay for this adoption. We applied for a grant as well, but we later found out that it was more like a loan. They expected to be paid back if we received a tax credit. No thank you, we already have a loan.
We did present to one situation awhile back. It was a long shot and we knew it. She really wanted someone that lived closer to her in Florida and would come for visits often. We wrote her a letter and told her that we could visit every other year when we come to Florida to visit family. We knew it was a long shot so we weren't super attached to this situation. We would have loved the heck out of that baby had she chosen us but we knew we weren't exactly what she was looking for.
In the last month, we found out about another agency a little closer to home. Adoption Choices of Texas. We talked with the lady there and decided that it was a good fit. We also realized that we could be far more open with a mom in our home state because we could drive anywhere in a weekend if it was here in Texas. So, even though we had to figure out where the application fee would come from, we applied and were accepted. The neat thing about this agency is that not only will we see situations from Texas, but also Nevada, Oklahoma, Arizona, and Colorado. So we are hoping for more from them soon. We have already seen a couple from them but none that worked well for us.
So, again, we are trying to keep busy and try to not wonder too much if we will ever get picked. We are in the 5th month of waiting. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.
We did hear back on the matching grant. No such luck. They don't ever let you know why you were not chosen so we have no clue. We did go ahead and send out letters to our friends and family trying to raise money to pay for this adoption. We applied for a grant as well, but we later found out that it was more like a loan. They expected to be paid back if we received a tax credit. No thank you, we already have a loan.
We did present to one situation awhile back. It was a long shot and we knew it. She really wanted someone that lived closer to her in Florida and would come for visits often. We wrote her a letter and told her that we could visit every other year when we come to Florida to visit family. We knew it was a long shot so we weren't super attached to this situation. We would have loved the heck out of that baby had she chosen us but we knew we weren't exactly what she was looking for.
In the last month, we found out about another agency a little closer to home. Adoption Choices of Texas. We talked with the lady there and decided that it was a good fit. We also realized that we could be far more open with a mom in our home state because we could drive anywhere in a weekend if it was here in Texas. So, even though we had to figure out where the application fee would come from, we applied and were accepted. The neat thing about this agency is that not only will we see situations from Texas, but also Nevada, Oklahoma, Arizona, and Colorado. So we are hoping for more from them soon. We have already seen a couple from them but none that worked well for us.
So, again, we are trying to keep busy and try to not wonder too much if we will ever get picked. We are in the 5th month of waiting. Hopefully it won't be too much longer.
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