So, let me tell you all about the worst day we have had in this adoption process. It begins with a ton of hope and ends with questions of why we aren't good enough.
So, almost two weeks ago, we were given a situation that we were interested in presenting to. We sent in everything we needed to and waited. Well, then when it came time to find out her answer, she asked for more time over the weekend. As much as we wanted to know right away, we understood and didn't want to rush her. So we waited til yesterday.
While we waited, we received another situation. This one was good too and really made us want to present to that one as well. We told them that we were waiting for an answer from the first agency (they told us we would have an answer on Monday). They told us that they would hold off presenting to their expectant mom if we would just let them know as soon as we heard something from the first mom. In the meantime, I made sure she had all of our paperwork so that we would be ready just in case we were not chosen by the first mom.
So Monday comes and we are full of hope. Excited that even if the first one didn't choose us, that we had a good chance with the second mom. The first only had 5 profiles to choose from and we thought that was good odds. We were excited. The second agency was getting antsy though because they were planning to present soon. So I wrote to the first agency to find out what was going on. Finally we heard that the mom liked our profile but chose someone else.
I wasn't devastated though because I knew we had the second situation and we even kind of liked it better. We would have been thrilled either way, but this was sooner and had less issues. So I sent the email telling the second agency that we were ready to present. We felt good about this one. We figured it would be at least a day or so before we heard anything back, so we were able to relax and talked about what if situations for getting this baby. Then I got an email from the agency saying that the mom did not like any of the 4 profiles she received and asked for more. WHAT?! This has never happened to us before. That really hurt. They said there is a possibility of her going back to one of them, but that it really didn't look like she would be choosing one of the four that she was presented yesterday. WOW! I didn't know how or what to feel about that. It is one thing to be chosen because they felt a connection to someone else. But to be not chosen because she didn't like any of us, that hurts a little more.
So here we are now, a little shell shocked by starting the week off with two hopeful situations, and now left with nothing. I don't even know what to say. I feel like someone let the wind out of my sails right now. I feel so helpless to understand why we are not being chosen. I know that there is a baby out there somewhere and it's all in God's plan, but not being chosen 8 times hurts.
There was one good thing that happened yesterday. About 10 years ago or so, I met a group of ladies online when we were all starting this journey to have a baby. We have stuck together and supported each other through ups and downs. Well, they sent me a box. I was confused. I opened it and found that they had sent me a baby shower in a box! It was the sweetest thing! And it really did come on the perfect day!
No comments:
Post a Comment